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Popping the "p" word doesn't have to be as dreadful as you think. Here's some ideas for how to set the stage for a positive reception to your request.

1) Timing: Timing really is everything. And with a prenup, the ideal timing is as early in the relationship as possible. You want the idea of a prenuptial agreement as a positive tool for your partnership to be part of an ongoing conversation, so that when the wedding and marriage discussions begin, the prenup is not a shocker. If you're already engaged, no worries, just don't delay. The longer you wait, the more your request will sound like an ultimatum, and the more you put the integrity of your prenup and your relationship at risk. Preferably, have the discussion before any invitations or save-the-dates are sent out. Ultimately, I recommend leaving at least 60 days before your wedding.

2) Tone and Approach: There's a world of difference between presenting your fiance with a pre-prepared document expecting them to sign it, and raising the issue for discussion in advance with love, honesty, and partnership in mind. A frank discussion of your financial goals, profiles, and hang-ups about money is something you need to be having before you marry anyway. This discussion provides the perfect segue to talk about a prenup. Be straightforward about why you want the agreement, and what it is you want to protect. Listen carefully to the response, and ask questions to be sure you understand each other's concerns. Make sure you communicate that the agreement you want to see in place will protect both of you. Remember, a fair agreement is more likely to be enforced, and the terms are more likely to be generous when your relationship is strong. You do not have to reach any conclusions in the initial conversation. A great book you can both read to get you in the right frame of mind is called "Prenups for Lovers" by Arlene G. Dubin, Random House © 2001.

3) Handling Upsets: If your request is met with hostility or anger, offer some space and agree to talk again later, after he or she has time to digest the idea. Check your tone and make sure you are not being patronizing. Remind your fiance that the agreement is for your mutual benefit, is a unilateral agreement, and that you hope it will be signed and then left in a drawer for the next fifty years. Finally, table the discussion for a specific time period no more than a couple of days later, so that you don't have to start over from scratch.

4) Responding to the Request: If you've been asked to agree to a prenup, it's natural to feel anxious. But try to keep your cool, listen to your partner, and engage in a discussion so that you can get your concerns addressed. Be aware of red flags, such as last-minute ultimatums, and always seek the advice of your own separate counsel.